To Do Good in This Generation: Microcosm

May 2, 2016

Mixed feelings. This week was a microcosm of real life in the fact
that life will never be ideal, so we have to make the most of whatever
situation we are placed in. There were a lot of really positive things
that happened this week, and there were also some things that made me
want to hit my head against a wall repeatedly.

First: interviews. I was pretty nervous about this interview for a
variety of reasons. My last interview was terrible. However, this time
around, my interview went really, really well. We talked about
finishing strong, about life after the mission, and about trying to
help out other missionaries. I've always loved being able to help out
younger missionaries if I can. I have a different perspective than
most, so I think that can be helpful to some people. Downside to
interviews: I still wasn't able to get my release date set for August
2nd or August 23.

English classes: on Tuesday, around 12 people came to English class. I
told them that the regular teacher wouldn't be teaching until May 8th,
so they were stuck with me. Well, on Thursday, only 5 people showed
up. I don't know if it was just the cold weather, that was a really
busy Thursday, or if I was a little too spot on when I said "stuck
with me", but not many people came. I'm hoping that more come on
Tuesday and it was just a coincidence. We'll see this Tuesday.

We had a lesson with a man and his wife (they aren't married,
but she's basically his wife...minus the law of chastity and legal
parts). He hadn't been reading from the Book of Mormon, which is
frustrating since we were pretty bold with him the time before about
how important it was to gain a testimony. He told us he would read
from it, but he didn't. However, he came to church on Sunday with her,
which was a complete shock. We had an impromptu class in Spanish with
them, and the teacher, the ward mission leader of the ward, felt like
he needed to shove prophets and apostles, priesthood, and the
restoration down their throats. I didn't like his approach at all, and
it seemed like Roberto felt uncomfortable. Maybe I read the situation
wrong, but we'll be sure to ask him next time we see him.

Our week ended on a good note. Saturday morning we had a lesson with
Daniel. He opened the door with the Book of Mormon in his hand and
markers, and invited us in. We had a good review of what we talked
about last time, answered his questions, and then started teaching the
plan of salvation. His wife wasn't able to listen to this lesson (or
the last one), but we asked him to ask her if she would be at the next
one. We also set him with a soft baptismal date, meaning we asked him
if he would be baptized if he knew these things were true, and he said
of course.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SOME BITTER RAMBLINGS ABOUT HARSH
REALITIES. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS KIND OF
MATERIAL
I was able to see some old mission friends this week as they passed
through to visit Greeley. It didn't help me much as they were talking
about how awesome life is after the mission, all of their wild tinder
hookups, dates, and parties. It made me trunky (which by the way, I
now use as a word to mean "a feeling of wanting to have or do
something that I currently can't because of my situation and
circumstances" instead of just "homesick" or "wanting to be home from
a mission". I don't know if there is a real word for that feeling.
Anxious? Excited? Longing for different circumstances?). That night,
we had a lesson with the Flores family. Again, mixed feelings. The
lesson itself was really good. We had a member there, the bishop, and
he was great to have along. I shared the first vision and cried, which
doesn't usually happen. It was a solid lesson. At the end we asked
them "how many times have you heard the first vision now?", hoping
that they would say "a lot" so we could ask them nicely "so why don't
you get how important this is and why can't you read the Book of
Mormon together". Well, curveball, Hermano Flores said that was the
first time he had heard it. I was SOO mad, because I personally have
shared it with him AT LEAST 3 times now, and they have been taught for
months or maybe even years. So.... You aren't listening to us at all?
You forgot? Your memory is really bad? You're just messing with us? I
don't know. They also told us that they won't be at church this week,
but "next week we can be. This week is Stephanie's last communion, so
we'll be free after that". It drives me insane how they can say that
showing how little communion and the Catholic Church actually means to
them and yet if they don't do it, it's like betraying their family,
country, and culture. "Oh, she just needs to go through these steps of
becoming a true Mexican, meaning Catholic, and then we can stop going
to church and start going to yours because communion itself actually
means 0 to us". My worry now is that we'll invite them to be baptized
and they'll think to themselves "well, we might as well cover our
bases", they'll get baptized, and then they won't ever come to church
again or be active. After I found out that my first "convert" was
frequenting gay bars in Denver, I vowed that I wouldn't baptize anyone
that I didn't feel was truly ready and knew what they were getting
into. It'll take some strong evidence at this point to see that
they're ready. There is a reason that one of the baptismal questions
is "do you believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints is the only true church on the face of the earth?" It's
incredibly frustrating.